| Real Letter to Dear Abby: |
[Apr. 26th, 2006|11:22 pm] |
DEAR ABBY: This is a warning for any visitor to Illinois who is unfortunate enough to use the rest stops -- DON'T!
In case you find it absolutely necessary, here are some tips: Be prepared! Bring your own toilet paper. You can hook it on the door on the purse hanger. A bucket, some cleaning solution and a mop would also be convenient if the person ahead of you was not considerate.
In addition, I believe the women of Illinois should bring their used catalogs and newspapers and supply these ladies rooms for the unfortunate and unprepared. Since someone in this state is of an "outhouse" mentality, it would temporarily ease the problem.
I know the governor is trying to save money, and probably some fool thinks this is the answer. May the guilty party be cursed by desperately attempting to remove enough toilet paper and be rewarded with a square inch -- as I was! -- OUTRAGED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR OUTRAGED: I'm printing your plea and your warning. But if anyone in the administration is trying to save money by skimping on toilet paper in the women's rest rooms, I can tell you this -- it's not a woman. |
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| You Know You're From Albany / Leesburg, GA When... |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|09:46 am] |
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Everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.
Iced tea is a staple of every meal.
You actively look out for deer whenever you drive at dusk.
You have or you know someone who has accidentally hit a deer.
You know that guy who sits in the recliner in the back of his
pickup on Slappey Boulevard.
Panama City Beach is the big deal.
Rebel flags are the predominant car decoration.
You understand that at least once a year your car will turn
yellow with pollen.
It's a massive snowstorm when an inch falls.
You knew all the cops in town, because they are somehow related to you or you know their family.
You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.
All the real concerts are in Atlanta.
Wal- mart is the cool place to go in the middle of the night.
You say "tuna fish sandwich."
Anyone who orders a "pop" must be a dork. It's a Coke, silly!
You know all the latest country music songs, naturally. Even if
you hate country music.
You remember and miss the big tree across from the STOCKS market by Phelema road.
You took class field trips to Chehaw park and tried to pet the
wild peacocks.
"Ya'll" and "ain't" are key vocabulary words.
Doesn't everyone own a Laborador Retriever or two???
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Albany and Leesburg. |
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giggly